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"If life is so bad that you want to end it, surely it means it cant get any worse? If it cant get worse, it can only get better"

On the 22nd of this month (April) it will have been one whole year since I uploaded ‘How We Got Here’ which – if you don’t know- is an original song of mine. (Check it out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4DVcS62Lhs )  That means that this time last year I would have been busy producing it in the studio. Okay, so I haven’t written about the anniversary of any other songs of mine, so why this one? 

Basically, during the time of producing it and uploading it to my channel, mentally, I was in a very bad place. I was suffering with a lot of anxieties and unhappiness as well as being very isolated from everyone around me. This was all the backlash of bullying at school. At the time, I was very unhappy and I would spend most nights crying to my mum about how I basically didn’t want to live anymore. I couldn’t see any possibilities of anything getting better what so ever. I was disgusted with whom I was and was jelouse of  everyone who seemed to be happy because that’s all I wanted. Inside, I built up a lot of hate for the people around me and as the months went on, school just got worse and worse.
Why am I telling you this? Because a year on and I have come on so far. Don’t get me wrong, I still have days where I feel a little hopeless and my anxiety is still prominent in my everyday life but, things are better. Mentally and socially. I have begun to control my anxiety attacks and push through them and I have learnt that it’s okay to feel a little unhappy sometimes, but it doesn’t mean everything is going wrong again. It just means im having an off day.

Looking back on the person I was, im so proud of how far I have come in just a year after spending 3 years frightened to wake up each day.
Unfortunately there are so many young people who do end it. It’s so heart breaking seeing amazing people feeling as though to be happy, their only option is to die. (Not always but) Mainly because of not feeling as though society accepts them. Personally, I am sickened at the way society presents people and belittles those who aren’t ‘mainstream’. However, let’s not forget, that each and every one of us is a member of this thing we call ‘society’ and as much as we complain about it, we are the ones who decide what this word means.

There’s something that I want to tell you, something my mum told me when I was close to ending my life. I know that everyone is different and some people are adamant that nothing will change but just keep this quote in mind when you’re having one of your own Off days

“If life is so bad that you want to end it, surely it means it can’t get any worse? If it can’t get any worse, it can only get better”

Thank you to everyone who has supported me over the last 3 years, I greatly appreciate it.

Remember

“If life is so bad that you want to end it, surely it means it can’t get any worse? If it can’t get any worse, it can only get better”

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